Here we go again. Time to dust off the papier-mâché crowns, strap on a foam sword, wave around some glittery capes, and march like it’s Comic-Con for politics. The “No Kings” protests are back. Same playbook, same make-believe, same tired slogan: “America has no kings.” Right… because anyone thought it did?
The most interesting thing about the No King’s protests around the country is that these chowderheads don’t understand that if Trump were actually a king, they would not be allowed to hold these protests around the country.
The whole thing is based on a fantasy. A chunk of Americans actually believe Donald Trump is a dictator just days away from putting on a crown. They think he is an authoritarian, and some say he is “literally Hitler.”
Their plan to stop him? Homemade signs, Dr. Seuss rhymes, and endless shouting in the streets. Ignore the small detail that he actually won the 2024 popular vote and became president the normal, legal way. Pretend the Constitution doesn’t exist and that checks and balances are just a bedtime story. In their world, it’s a curtain call. America has been transformed into a low-budget Netflix dystopia, starring Trump as the evil overlord with stormtrooper baristas serving lattes of oppression to the terrified masses.
Many people have been articulating that Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer was waiting for the No King’s anxiety parade to try to score political points against Trump and the Republicans. The theory goes that Schumer kept the government shutdown going this long because the progressive wing of his party, which seems like the majority now, has him acting like a court gesture to their radical whims.
It’s all just an illusion. It’s been about four months since the Left unveiled its grand “No Kings” roadshow. Nothing organic about it. The whole thing was bankrolled, scripted, and backed by nearly 200 activist outfits, each armed with signs blaming Trump for everything, including humidity.
VISIT OUR YOUTUBE CHANNELThe grand kickoff supposedly lured over five million people nationwide, but if you looked closely, most of them were Baby Boomers trying to relive Woodstock with cardboard signs. Fast-forward to Saturday, and here they go again. Their official website proudly crows: “Millions of us are rising again to show the world: America has no kings, and the power belongs to the people.” Cute slogan. The only problem? That very same “power of the people” is exactly what voted Trump back into office. Oops.
Back in June, they warned America that Trump was seconds away from plopping on a crown and declaring himself Emperor of Mar-a-Lago, until their “resistance” swooped in to “save our democracy republic.” And how did they accomplish this epic rescue? By throwing a protest on Trump’s birthday, while the Army was busy celebrating its 250th anniversary. Well, they didn’t bother showing up in Washington, because the Army was there celebrating its 250th anniversary. But somehow, in their fantasy world, skipping D.C. equals toppling a monarchy. If this is a revolution, it’s the Party City edition.
Truth? Nowhere on the agenda.
Let’s be honest: this has nothing to do with fixing problems and everything to do with keeping restless people busy. Give them a slogan, a chant, and a matching T-shirt, and suddenly they feel like freedom fighters instead of bored retirees. It’s less about truth and more about group therapy with cardboard signs. Some things never change.
So, who’s bankrolling this carnival of wasted weekends and poster board? Sure, the average protester just wants a hobby that feels noble. But the organizers, the ones scripting the whole play, but don’t actually participate themselves, aren’t in it for the chants or the craft paint. Their interests are a lot bigger and a lot less innocent.
Front and center is Indivisible, which loves to parade around as a “grassroots” organization. Cute branding. In reality, the group’s been on George Soros’ payroll since 2017. It’s always Soros, isn’t it? And wouldn’t you know it: plenty of the nearly 200 “partners” on the No Kings website are dipping into the same Soros ATM. Call it grassroots if you want, but it looks a whole lot more like Astroturf with a billionaire’s logo stamped on it.
And so, after all the marching, chanting, and cardboard artistry, what’s the big accomplishment? Nothing, except maybe a few sore feet and a bulk discount on Sharpies. But rest assured, the organizers will call it a historic victory, because in their world, preventing a crown that never existed is the same thing as saving democracy. Congratulations, they defeated a fairy tale—somebody cue the credits and hand them a participation trophy.
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